Last message I told him that I’ll let him having time there to get things done after he told me that he’s not struggling with everything. (he has lots of extra expenses for this move too) He said he has anxiety about kids moving away (where we are now and new location is about 13 hours fly) but anyway he will prepare everything for them to move smoothly.
I’ve been “hanging out” with this guy off and on for two years. Before meeting him I read books on this exact subject. I’ve been married and divorced twice so I wanted to make sure I knew what I was doing if I got involved with a man again. I’m very opened about my feels I always have been. I like that about myself but in the past I’ve also been pushy wanting things to happen right away. Now with this guy I’m “hanging out” with has pulled away a lot in the 2 yrs I’ve been seeing him, but he had always come back. I think it’s because I always gave him his space. Since being married and divorced twice taking things slow was fine with me. Just recently though, I couldn’t help myself and I told him that I loved him. I thought for sure he was going to pull away, but he didn’t not right away anyways. In fact, we talked about making it exclusive. I was so happy because it’s what I had been waiting patiently for two years for. Recently, we had a two year anniversary of when we met so being the person I am I gave him a card. I said a paragraph of very heartfelt things. I knew this would definitely make him pull away from me and I was right. Even though I know when it’s going to happen it still doesn’t make it easy to deal with. I love him and I want him to know this. I want him to know that I accept him for who he is. I feel the only way I’m going to get him to trust me is by letting him have his time away from me. When he comes back he’s different, for instance, he more loving sweeter. I believe him when he says he’s happy with me. He too has been in difficult relationships in the past that broke his heart. Love isn’t meant to go fast. Love takes time. I’m glad it’s going this way even though it’s hard because I came from abusive background and it’s why my marriages ended. This guy inspires me to grow and find myself. I’ve started back to school at 43 yrs old because of his encouragement. I don’t feel I have to be someone I’m not when I’m with him. I feel safe when I’m with him. I want him to feel the same when he’s with me. I feel that’s what true love is all about. I may love him but he’s not my whole world, he’s only part of it.

My boyfriend broke up with me about a week ago. He said he craves for independence and he he still loves me but that’s just what’s right to do. He pushed me away whenever I try to get close or hug or lean my head against his back. I really love him and I want to get him back but we are flatmates, we live together and I don’t know how to do the no contact? And I’ve gone home for a few days and I didn’t tell him where I was going. I’ll be going back in a few days and I’ll be seeing him again. What should I tell him if he asks me where I went? I don’t want to look like a loser grieving so much for our relationship. And I really want to get him back.
I am thinking about purchasing PRO but I don’t know if my situation applies for this site’s method. He broke it off before we have a serious relationship. We met while he was on vacation in my country, first date was trully magical, we were both so excited about it and went on a second date(also great) but then he has to go back to his country. We got a little bit intimate but didn’t have sex. After texting almost everyday and videochatting few times for a month and a half I managed to make a short trip to his country and spend 3 days on a weekend together at his place(then we got physical). We had a wonderful time together, but on the last day he told me we need to talk about something when I got back. After my return, his respnses to our interaction were not that enthusiastic as before, but he kept checking on me like he used to. When I asked him if he has time to have that talk, he was always busy, but still said he wanted to talk. After two weeks, he casually mentioned that he is planning a trip to my country later this year (but no mention of meeting up), I couldn’t take it anymore and asked him “what do you think about us”. I know it was too early so I told him that I’m not asking to define it, but want to know what he thinks. After a few days he responded, saying though he really likes me, he is happy to spend time withme, and was thinking about a serious relationship with me, he feels like he is not attracted to me enough to have a relationship, maybe because we are too different. He also said he wants to discuss it over the phone or videotalk. In response to this, I said sure to videotalk and said that I respect his feeling and not mad about his decision, but because he asked my thought and feeling, my reply was several super long texts explaining my take on the situation. My reply began with apology for dragging him in to this conversation when he is not ready and ends with thanking him for the wonderful time togerther and everything he has ever done to me, and stating that I won’t try to vanish you from my life just because our feeling are not mutual. I had no intention to change his mind with my reply (and stated it so in the texts) but it might have seem desperate because they were so long. He read them immediately, and no response for 4 days. Is he even my ex? Do I even have a chance to win him back? Should I start the no contact rule right now even before the breakup talk he wanted to have? I don’t know if your method works in my situation.

Hi Lauren, this couldn't have come at a more perfect time for me. My boyfriend of 7 years, broke up with me a week ago. I have read most of the Mars Venus books and am currently reading Mars and Venus: Starting Over. I'm not ready to give up on the relationship, he is my everything. He claims, he's afraid of commitment and that I can't make him happy for the rest of his life, but also claimed I'm perfect and don't need to change at all. Gave me the "it's not you, it's me" thing. I still have hope that if I give him his space he will change his mind and I'm not to the point where I can think about him not changing his mind, that is too hard. I have broken down and texted him a few times and told him how I was feeling. I stopped talking to him over the weekend and on day 4, I woke up to a text from him. It wasn't anything about us, just a video of a silly dog. I guess I'm just trying to figure out if he still cares? Is it just the friendship he misses? He claims I'm still his best friend. I can't be friends with him, I'm still in love with him. I know every situation is different and you ultimately can't tell he what he is thinking, but I guess do you think if I give him his space, he might come back? ...

Even if a man is completely in love – it’s natural for him to drift away at times. There may be something he’s going through that you don’t know about, or he may be having a difficult time at work. The point is, you dont know, and there is more going on in the world than just you. If you feel it in your gut that you guys are still close, give it the benefit of the doubt.
There was no “trick” to getting Mary back for good. Going through a tragedy had changed me. It was terrible, but it helped me grow the hell up, and by the time Mary and I crossed paths again, I was ready to be the kind of person who texts back and keeps plans and buys presents for no apparent reason. We don’t yell at each other in the street anymore, and that’s pretty cool.
So many red flags! He seems abusive. For starters, he shouldn’t be calling you names and putting you down. And the fact that he dislikes your being independent and ought to be cleaning or cooking for him is so sexist, I can’t even… All this leads me to believe he will be physically and more emotionally abusive as time goes by. Run as far away as possible. I know it’s hard, but I don’t see your situation getting better. Stay safe.

Last year we were about to marry, everyone was veryy happy, hi family and my family met then his mother ask for few details and wanted to do enquiry and all of my family and she said she wont allow me to work, i said yes to everthing as i was in love and wanted to marry him everything was soo good but just after the family meeting i said him that he shouldn’t speak a single word in front of his family as i was expecting him support me and say that its been 5 years we know each and already discussed everthing then i got upset from him , we faught and later on he said everthing to his mother and she start hated me , We broke up:(
1. Start out by heading down the road of healing past wounds. As you talk about the upsetting interactions that have distressed you in the past, look back on these upsetting incidents to find what you yourself can learn from each. When thinking about how to fix a relationship, mistakes are for learning. Share what you experienced, and think aloud about what you would do differently next time. If your partner joins you and does the same, convert past upsets to valuable learning moments in your life journey together.
It’s easy to hurt your chances of ‘’ACTUALLY’’ getting your ex back if you do not have a plan to follow or the correct guidance, not to worry though, that’s what I’m here for. After a breakup, most people are often hurt, confused and emotionally drained. These are all common feelings that any human will go through when releasing a loved or dear one and especially when you feel that you have to stay away, which is not always the case. Playing your cards correctly from the beginning gives you a huge advantage. Make sure you have some sort of actual plan. Receiving good advice and tips from others always helps clear confusion and helps give you a sense of direction. Sometimes you need an outsiders perspective on things to see things from a different point of view.

Realize when you and your partner’s plans no longer mesh. Couples that once had perfect chemistry can run into trouble when life-goals and missions collide. If one person, for example, wants to go back to grad school while the other wants to travel the world, one person might feel slighted or cheated no matter which choice you go with. If you are constantly fighting or drifting apart because you have different dreams, it may be time to pursue your goals on your own.[13]

When she texted me, I quickly apologized for not showing how much I care for her. That being the reason why I chose to write to her, hoping to show that I am still in the game. I also mentioned that the long distance “thing” eats me away sometimes. This being another cause for writing to her. After texting her this, she did not respond (as of two days ago).
If a man is honest and tells you he does not want a relationship, then as a woman you should honor his truth in telling you this and take a moment to reflect and understand that you may need to pull away. Not to mention, if he also gives you the popular one-liner by saying, “I’m just seeing where things go,” proceed with caution. This is not a committed answer, so why would he want to commit to you? This is just an answer to lure you away from the truth in hopes to keep you around for what he is in search of pleasure and attention.
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